|
THE JAMAICAN GINNAL
A Jamaican guy walks into a whorehouse in New York and
asks, "You have a girl work here from Jamaica name Arlene?"
"Yes," answers the madam. "Go on up to Room 6."
So the fellow went up to Room 6 and knocked on the door.
When the woman answered, he asked "Yu name Arlene, don't
it?"
"Yeah man, a me dat," replied the woman.
Well, a have two Hundred dollas.." he proudly announced.
With that, the hooker grabbed the money, opened the door
wide and hauled him by the shirt into the room. After a little rest from the vigorous sex, the fellow got up to leave.
"Will you be here tomorrow?" he asked.
"Yeah Man," Arlene said, "Me will deh yah."
The next night, the fellow comes back gives up the $200
and laid it on again. When they were done, he's sitting on the side of the bed, cooling down.
"Will you be here tomorrow night Honey?"
The hooker replied, "Mi deh yah every night fi you".
Night comes and the fellow was back in action, throwing
down the heavy lumber. When they were done, they are both sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Tell me sumthin'," Arlene said, "what part of Jamaica
yu from?"
"Portmore," replied the fellow with a satisfied grin.
"True ? Me have one sister live inna Portmore yuh know!",
the hooker exclaimed.
"I know dat," the fellow replied, "She gimme six hundred
dollas fi gi yu!"
C.N.N. BREAKING NEWS: All the
women in the U.S. have shaved their pumpums in protest of the war. Their message to the world: READ OUR LIPS,
NO MORE BUSH
Todays Chinese Menu:
Chu Sum Twat
Suk Mi Cok
Lik Sum Clit
Tung Sum Ho
Gulp Sum Cum
Cho Kon It
Women have Special Powers...
We get wet without water
Bleed without injury
Make boneless things hard, and
Make men eat without cooking!
Q: How does a man know if his sperm count is high?
A: If the girl has to chew before she swallows.
"LAWD GOD, ME DED NOW!"
Guarantee that
this one will make you laugh!!
A Jamaican living in the States was down on his luck. Out of work and broke, he started
going around to various companies in the city begging for a job, any job.
Finally he got to the Zoo. The Zookeeper looked stressed
out. "The monkey escaped last night", the Zookeeper said,
"If you are willing to put on a monkey suit and stand in the
monkey's cage for a couple days, I'll pay you."
The Jamaican immediately accepted. The pay was OK and the work wasn't
hard. He swung from the tree, and the kids fed him fruits and nuts. He actually started enjoying himself. He even started
adding a few acrobatic moves that he had seen on TV.
Late in the afternoon he swung a bit too vigorously, lost his
grip and flew clean out of the monkey cage and landed in the lion cage next door. The lion let out a huge roar and our friend
in the monkey suit bawl out, "LAWD GOD, ME DED NOW!"
The
huge lion immediately pounced on him, grabbed him by the throat and whispered, "Man shut yuh mouth nuh, suh we can keep di
likkle wuk!"
The U.S. Post Office has come out with a new stamp in the shape of a clitoris,
but it's not selling because only 3% of men know how to lick it correctly.
DEFENCE ATTORNEY:
>Defense
Attorney:
>Will you please state your age?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>I am 86 years old.
>
>Defense
Attorney:
>Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>There
I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring
>evening,
>when a young man comes creeping
up on the porch and sat down beside me.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Did you know him?
>
>Little Old
Lady:
>No, but he
>sure was f riendly.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>What happened after he sat down?
>
>Little
Old Lady:
>He started to rub my thigh.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Did you stop him?
>
>Little
Old Lady:
>No, I didn't stop him.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Why not?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>It
felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>What happened
next?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>He began to rub my breasts.
>
>Defense
>Attorney:
>Did
you stop him then?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>No, I did not stop him.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Why
not?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in
>years!
>
>Defense
Attorney:
>What happened next?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I
just laid down and told him
>"Take me, young man. Take me now!"
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Did he take
you?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the
>little
bastard
Q:How do we know that Santa is a MAN?
A: Because he shows up late, eats your food, empties his sack, comes only once,
and leaves before you wake up!!!
(Early Evening) NEW YEAR'S EVE TOAST
Before the sun sets,
before the memories fade,
before the networks get jammed
and before I get drunk, get naked and lose my phone,
I'm wishing you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!
|
Make a PayPal Donation
